I can't sleep. Lots to do and a million reasons to sleep. I can't. Why? Psalm 126:3 says it all: "The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy."
I can't sleep because my soul, my spirit is filled with joy right now.
Remember the song from the mid/late 60's that went like this:
To everything, (turn, turn, turn)there is a season, (turn, turn, turn) and a time to every purpose unto man. This is straight from the Bible (minus the turn, turn, turn.) Ecclesiastes 3!
This is my time to laugh, my time to dance, my time to enbrace, my time to keep, my time to speak, my time to mend, my time to love, my time for peace.
This is my time for joy. That is why I can't sleep. My spirit is just dancing with joy for all the things God has done for us.
So, wonder if anyone has made a song from Psalm126:3?
Let's start one now.
It's upbeat and gospel! Ready to praise? Here's how it will go.
Imagine you are the soloist and you are singing/talking. Calling out what the Lord has done for you , why you are filled with joy. Imagine a beautiful choir in the background (like HGBC choir!) that sings the verse back after everything you say.(The choir is in italics) Let's write this together..I will write mine, add yours!
He pushed death away, gave my husband back to me!
The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!
He touched my sister, saved her life!
The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!
He blessed me with two beautiful children!
The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!
He gave me a family and surrounded me with friends!
The Lord has done great things for us and we are filled with joy!
What would YOU add to this song?
Be careful though..because when the Lord does great things for you,you are filled with joy and then you can't sleep!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Friday, June 10, 2011
Whose Daughter Is She Anyway?
Nothing like a pending high school graduation of your first born to make you think. Think,recall, remember.....and respond with sighs, awww's , laughter, smiles, and tears.
I have been very happy for ArlynMarie, excited for her. A new journey beginning for her. This is what the last 12 years of school have been about, right? To get her to this point. Smiles, excited, happy.
Then Sunday we went to the "Senior Breakfast" at church. That was nice. The breakfast was nice, the tribute and well wishes to the seniors was nice. We sat with friends. Very nice way to start the day. Part of the day was to honor the Seniors. They were to wear their caps and gowns from their schools, assemble together and sit together in the service. Well....what I didn't know was they were going to march in to "Pomp & Circumstance" . The first thread unwound at the sound of this song.
What is it about a song that can take you right back to another time in your life? Her graduation.... but the song made me think about mine. In a flash I was back at The Charlotte Coliseum (now called Bojangles Arena!)and I was nervously and anxiously awaiting my turn. Worried about triping or falling in front of everyone and full of dreams and plans. I had no idea that in two years, I would experience the first loss of someone dear to me. So many things I had no idea about right around the corner. In a flash I came back to 2011 and thought about my daughter. All her hopes, her dreams and wondered what was around her corners. Happy things, blessings, I quickly prayed. Thread two unwound.
Lots of nice things said for the seniors, I was ok. Feeling sentimental but still happy. Then they called their names , the seniors walked the stage as their baby picture and current picture were simultaneously displayed for the congregation. I wasn't prepared for that. I was tearing up for the other kids. Then they called ArlynMarie Rape. Up flashed my favorite picture of her at two months with a little round face and a big happy grin right next to a picture of a young woman who had no baby fat, but still a big happy grin. Slap in the emotional face. She is no longer a baby. Then she walked across the stage and I watched her. Every step-her life went right before me in my heart and mind. The day she was born and all the days in-between and now. BAM. Every thread unwound. Big tears streamed down my face.
I was still happy for her,but I wasn't thinking about her. These weren't tears of pride or happiness for my daughter. These were tears for me. For my loss of my little sweetie, my side kick for 18 years. My baby. My little pre-k kid, my kindergarten kid, my elementary school kid, my middle schooler, my high school daughter. Suddenly I realized that she was not only graduating from high school but graduating into a new life. One I hope to have a part in....not just a bit character, but I hope a main character, but we won't costar anymore.
I was thinking about her today. I remembered when we took her to an in-home daycare. Johnna took care of her from 9 months to two and a half years old. I was blessed with a boss that allowed me to bring her to work with me. We were together everyday for 8 months. The studio was so quiet when she left. It was time, she needed to be able to get around without being constrained . I thought I would die, I missed her so much, but I prayed and God got me through that. This story was repeated every time she moved up. When she went to CLS and started pre-k and attended thru elementary school. When she went to Middle School..a public school. When she started high school. A new journey and each time I was a little anxious, concerned for her. Each time, I prayed, talked to God and each time He brought me through. Do you see a theme running here?
So I was talking to God today and thinking about all this and sharing it with him. Asking him to watch over my daughter, my child. He listened as He always does and then ever so gently asked me, "whose daughter is she, Suzie?"
He reminded me of a deal I made a long time ago after I had a miscarriage on my first pregnancy. I dug into his word to try and make sense of the situation and understand. I promised God, if He would let me have just one child, (I use to want six!) , if it were healthy, and it didn't even have to be a girl (I always wanted girls), I would raise this child to know Him and give the child back to him. God gave me ArlynMarie. She is a miracle in her own right. With my female history, I should not have been able to ave any kids.
So..as I was saying he reminded me of that day.
He reminded me that He took care of her all that time. He heard my prayers and He answered them, but He also took care of the things I knew nothing about.
He reminded me that she is a gift.
He reminded me that now, it was time I give His gift back to Him because He had plans for her. Jer 29:11.
So, I will do just that and this Saturday when our daughter graduates, God and I will smile and celebrate in our hearts and spirit, her life up to now and what is yet to be.
I have been very happy for ArlynMarie, excited for her. A new journey beginning for her. This is what the last 12 years of school have been about, right? To get her to this point. Smiles, excited, happy.
Then Sunday we went to the "Senior Breakfast" at church. That was nice. The breakfast was nice, the tribute and well wishes to the seniors was nice. We sat with friends. Very nice way to start the day. Part of the day was to honor the Seniors. They were to wear their caps and gowns from their schools, assemble together and sit together in the service. Well....what I didn't know was they were going to march in to "Pomp & Circumstance" . The first thread unwound at the sound of this song.
What is it about a song that can take you right back to another time in your life? Her graduation.... but the song made me think about mine. In a flash I was back at The Charlotte Coliseum (now called Bojangles Arena!)and I was nervously and anxiously awaiting my turn. Worried about triping or falling in front of everyone and full of dreams and plans. I had no idea that in two years, I would experience the first loss of someone dear to me. So many things I had no idea about right around the corner. In a flash I came back to 2011 and thought about my daughter. All her hopes, her dreams and wondered what was around her corners. Happy things, blessings, I quickly prayed. Thread two unwound.
Lots of nice things said for the seniors, I was ok. Feeling sentimental but still happy. Then they called their names , the seniors walked the stage as their baby picture and current picture were simultaneously displayed for the congregation. I wasn't prepared for that. I was tearing up for the other kids. Then they called ArlynMarie Rape. Up flashed my favorite picture of her at two months with a little round face and a big happy grin right next to a picture of a young woman who had no baby fat, but still a big happy grin. Slap in the emotional face. She is no longer a baby. Then she walked across the stage and I watched her. Every step-her life went right before me in my heart and mind. The day she was born and all the days in-between and now. BAM. Every thread unwound. Big tears streamed down my face.
I was still happy for her,but I wasn't thinking about her. These weren't tears of pride or happiness for my daughter. These were tears for me. For my loss of my little sweetie, my side kick for 18 years. My baby. My little pre-k kid, my kindergarten kid, my elementary school kid, my middle schooler, my high school daughter. Suddenly I realized that she was not only graduating from high school but graduating into a new life. One I hope to have a part in....not just a bit character, but I hope a main character, but we won't costar anymore.
I was thinking about her today. I remembered when we took her to an in-home daycare. Johnna took care of her from 9 months to two and a half years old. I was blessed with a boss that allowed me to bring her to work with me. We were together everyday for 8 months. The studio was so quiet when she left. It was time, she needed to be able to get around without being constrained . I thought I would die, I missed her so much, but I prayed and God got me through that. This story was repeated every time she moved up. When she went to CLS and started pre-k and attended thru elementary school. When she went to Middle School..a public school. When she started high school. A new journey and each time I was a little anxious, concerned for her. Each time, I prayed, talked to God and each time He brought me through. Do you see a theme running here?
So I was talking to God today and thinking about all this and sharing it with him. Asking him to watch over my daughter, my child. He listened as He always does and then ever so gently asked me, "whose daughter is she, Suzie?"
He reminded me of a deal I made a long time ago after I had a miscarriage on my first pregnancy. I dug into his word to try and make sense of the situation and understand. I promised God, if He would let me have just one child, (I use to want six!) , if it were healthy, and it didn't even have to be a girl (I always wanted girls), I would raise this child to know Him and give the child back to him. God gave me ArlynMarie. She is a miracle in her own right. With my female history, I should not have been able to ave any kids.
So..as I was saying he reminded me of that day.
He reminded me that He took care of her all that time. He heard my prayers and He answered them, but He also took care of the things I knew nothing about.
He reminded me that she is a gift.
He reminded me that now, it was time I give His gift back to Him because He had plans for her. Jer 29:11.
So, I will do just that and this Saturday when our daughter graduates, God and I will smile and celebrate in our hearts and spirit, her life up to now and what is yet to be.
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